Cacti and Red Eyes

Good morning world.  Hello cactus tongue I collected from the back dredges of a full grown bush.  One nopal.  Nopalitpo.  One paddle hand from the bunch had cast itself to the ground opting to call it quits from this world of heat exhaustion.  He was like, “I mean I know I’m a cactus but COME ON.”  It’s been pretty hot lately.  So I scooped him up on my walk back from the mailbox to see if he might enjoy a little bit of time being my deskside company.  I’ve stuck him in a tall white flower pot with cactus soil cushioning his little sealed, nubby end and his worrisome fully folded attitude has, if I do say so myself, lifted.  Hello nopalito!

David had his first photo shoot in his Atwater studio yesterday and rocked it like a mer gerkin movie star.  Or, photography star.  He had a makeup artist in named Danielle who said David and my astrological signs coupled were due-in for lots of success and money come October so I took to her immediately.  She gave me lovely dramatic black-lined eyes that lasted for the shoot then watered profusely for three hours before sealing themselves shut almost completely.  I type this through reluctant, turtle eyes that, despite my seventy-five gentle cleansings, still have black around them.  It’s going to be a good day.  Right Nopalito?  He looks hopeful.

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The Great Unknown

I am unsure

Of all that I am

But certain unknowing

Is all that I can

Place into words

To explain how I feel

About the knowing of nothing

That is so excitingly real.

 

I can be anything

I choose to be

A cat or a bat or the leaf of a tree

I can be wind

That leaps through the air

Or a ray of the sunshine

A claw of a bear.

 

I can be mountain

I can be ground

I can be listening,

Not making a sound.

I can be crickets

I can be noise

I can be laughter

That lightness enjoys.

 

I can be you

And you can be me

And being each other we are able to see

The certain unknowing

We don’t know ourselves

And be better us-es

Instead of one-self.

 

 

xo Sims Holland 8/1/2017

 

 

Chips off Blocks


I’ll start by saying, you’re welcome Elizabeth Easterly.

There is little more joyful a thing than reuniting with family to get to express my innermost weird that only they truly understand.  And probably don’t even like but this isn’t about them.  It’s about me and I’m terrific just I am, even I said so myself!

I had the incredible gift of getting to spend my 32nd birthday with my sister-cuz Lizzy so I promptly planned a picnic and stuffed a piñata with mustaches in anticipation.  

Oh the time we had!  We laughed and frolicked and got upset about balloons together.  We ate and walked and fashion showed every outfit option for every unnecessary thing we did.  It was marvelous.  She had a great time, even I said so myself!

There is nothing quite like family and I hold mine close and dear.  I’m coming for you in June Hughes, Taylor, Mom and Dad.  Where I shall only play it cool for the first hour.  

Thank you all for being so wonderfully you.

I Am the Seagull.

I spent yesterday afternoon wringing my hands and pacing a nice layer down into our hardwoods awaiting my first “big room” “big girl” stand-up performance.  

I ran, I bathed, I groomed, I wrote.  I scream sang at myself in the mirror, I danced like David wasn’t watching. 

And then it came.  And I arrived dressed as fierce as I knew how to.  And I sat backstage with a dear friend.  And we cheered eachother on. And we hyped eachother up.

Then the curtain finally drew, and the stage clacked under my steps, and the lights lit me up from the inside.  And I was there.

I was the seagull.  And it was marvelous.
Thank you to The Comedy Store and to the incredible audience that I got to be with last night.

Tree-ching Me a Thing or Two


Radiolab has this mind-blowingly rad episode exploring the secret life of trees (http://www.radiolab.org/story/from-tree-to-shining-tree/).  Research into the soil beneath has shown that trees actual communicate with one another.  They pass along food, warn eachanother of fires or drought and if an elder tree is dying it will straight up sends its nutrition to the youngest tree on the block because holy shit you guys this world is incredible.  Whaaaat???  The episode ends simply stating that the root system beneath our feet is undeniably similar to that of a brain.

Get. Out. Of. Town.

I think about that a lot, how much I can learn from trees.  How they all survive because they are together, staying open, constant lines of give and take and communication.  It’s just so awesome.

What if that is the secret to our own survival.  What if I stop being the tree that can do everything on my own and start being a part of the forest.  Noticing what is around me, who is around me, what are they doing, how are they doing?  It makes me relax just thinking about it.

We are better because of each other.  I myself am little without the lessons and laughter from my family in my heart, my cat who teaches me patience and love, my friends who teach me how to take a joke and show up on time, my partner who teaches me how to persevere and believe in myself, my community that teaches me to care… I am full because of all of those things, those people.  They are who I am.  I am not a tree, I am a part of the forest.

On the stage of my high school theater, Mr. Dragoo impressed John Dunne’s poetry upon us, having us recite daily from Devotions upon Emergent Occasions.  Reminding us always to care for our fellows because our fellows are ourselves.

Gosh y’all.  There are so many lessons right in front of me all the time, it is such a gift.

Thank you trees, thank you family, friends, Charlie, David.  Thank you Radiolab, thank you Mr. Dragoo and thank you John Dunne.

“No man is an island entire of itself; every man

is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;

if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe

is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as

well as any manner of thy friends or of thine

own were; any man’s death diminishes me,

because I am involved in mankind.

And therefore never send to know for whom

the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” -John Dunne Devotions upon Emergent Occasions 1624

Sims says things